The festivals and holidays that fill Singapore’s calendar are where access arrangements most often break down, and where a clear written schedule saves the most grief. Chinese New Year, Hari Raya, Deepavali, Christmas, the school breaks and the birthdays all come round every year, and if they are left to be negotiated each time, they become an annual argument. This guide shows how to build them into an access schedule that works, and why putting it in writing matters.

The aim is simple: decide the pattern once, calmly, so the child can enjoy the occasions instead of being caught in a yearly tug-of-war over them.

Rotating the major festivals

Singapore’s festive calendar is one of its richest features, and a good access schedule works with it. The usual method is to alternate or rotate the major festivals so that each parent has the child for the celebration in turn, or to split the days within a festival between the two homes.

Which festivals carry the most weight depends on the family’s background and traditions, but the ones most often written into a schedule are:

  • Chinese New Year, where the reunion dinner and the first days matter, and are often alternated year to year.
  • Hari Raya Puasa and Hari Raya Haji, similarly built around family visiting.
  • Deepavali, treated the same way where it is significant to the family.
  • Christmas and the year-end, often split with one parent taking the eve and the other the day, or alternating.

Alternating whole festivals gives each parent a proper turn at the full celebration; splitting the days lets the child see both parents but involves a handover mid-festival. Neither is right for everyone. The choice depends on the family and on how close the two homes are.

Extended family is part of what makes these occasions matter, and it is worth keeping in view. Festivals are often when a child sees grandparents, cousins and the wider family on each side, and a schedule that lets the child keep both sets of relationships tends to serve the child better than one that quietly cuts off one branch. Alternating whole festivals is one way to make sure the child spends real festive time with each side of the family across the years.

School holidays and the long breaks

School holidays are the other big block of time to plan, and they are handled differently from term-time access. Rather than have the child shuttle constantly, parents usually share the breaks in meaningful blocks: halves of the long breaks, or alternate years for some of them.

The year-end break and the mid-year break are the substantial ones, and they are typically where each parent gets an extended, uninterrupted stretch with the child, and where longer trips are planned. The shorter breaks in between are shared more simply. The general framework of how contact is structured through the year is set out in our guide to access arrangements in Singapore, and the holiday schedule slots into that.

Public holidays and birthdays

Beyond the festivals and school breaks, two smaller categories are worth pinning down because they cause friction out of all proportion to their length.

Public holidays that fall outside the major festivals can simply be alternated, or attached to whichever parent has the child that weekend, so nobody has to negotiate each one.

Birthdays matter emotionally and deserve a settled rule. Common approaches are to alternate the child’s birthday year to year, to split the day so both parents see the child, or to arrange for each parent to have the child on that parent’s own birthday. Decide it once and the day stays about the child rather than about the parents.

It is also worth agreeing the small things around these days so they do not become their own dispute: whether the other parent can call or video-call the child on a birthday they are not spending together, and whether a separate celebration in each home is welcomed rather than treated as competition. A child generally loves having two celebrations; the friction comes only when parents make the day a contest. Settling the tone in advance keeps it a happy occasion.

Holidays often mean a trip abroad, and that adds a layer. Taking a child overseas generally needs the other parent’s agreement, and the access order frequently sets out how travel and consent are to be handled: how much notice to give, what itinerary to share, and how consent is recorded.

The practical rule is to sort the written consent and the details well before the trip, not at the airport. Doing it early avoids both a last-minute dispute and a problem on the day of travel. The requirements and the sensible steps are covered in our guide to travelling overseas with a child after divorce. Building the notice and consent expectations into the schedule itself makes each year’s trip far smoother.

Put it in writing

The single most useful thing you can do is write the festive and holiday arrangements down, ideally into the access order rather than leaving them to be agreed afresh each year. An arrangement that has to be renegotiated every December, every Chinese New Year and every school break gives conflict a regular opening. A written schedule closes it.

A clear schedule states who has the child for each festival and in which years, how the school breaks are split, how birthdays and public holidays work, and how overseas travel is arranged. Once it exists, the default is set, and any change is a deliberate agreement rather than an annual fight. That predictability is worth most to the child, who gets to look forward to occasions instead of dreading the argument around them.

A written schedule also settles the question of what happens when a festive year and the ordinary weekly pattern collide, which they regularly do. Spelling out that the festive arrangement takes priority over the usual rotation, and how the weekly pattern resumes afterwards, removes the ambiguity that otherwise turns every clash into a negotiation. The more the schedule anticipates these overlaps in advance, the less there is to argue about when they arrive.

Making it work year after year

Even the best schedule needs a bit of goodwill to run. The occasional swap (a family event, a rare opportunity) works far better when both parents approach it as a favour that will be returned than as a concession to be won. Keeping that cooperative habit is the subject of our guide to co-parenting after divorce, and it is what turns a schedule on paper into a workable year. The wider framework of custody, care and access sits in our pillar guide to child custody in Singapore, and the line between who the child lives with and who decides is explained in custody versus care and control. If you want help drafting a schedule into an order, we can connect you with a licensed Singapore law practice through our contact page.